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Just The Messenger Mews

May 28, 2016

Three days ago, I realized why I have always felt that I needed to be strong. I have always carried a heaviness in my heart, feeling like no one cares and that's why no one supports me.

When I was little, my uncle had babysitting duties so that my mom could go out. As I sat in my room, I watched a TV show. I wasn't being monitored so I turned to any channel that I wanted. This particular movie showed a women, in her bedroom, sitting at her vanity, looking in her mirror with tears rolling down her face and a pair of scissors in her hand. As she continued to cry, she preceded to cut her hair  with intention and hurt. It intrigued me so much, that after the scene of pain, I found a pair of scissors. I went into the bathroom and stood up on a stool so I c...

March 15, 2016

I'm stuck friends! I am literally glued on the side of the color yellow with a sticky substance called FEAR! In the struggle of trying to PEEL myself free, I struggle feeling like I'm a piece of food in a spider's nest, wanting to stay there and just be still like a statue with hopes of not being notice. But my spirit is screaming at me to move! Move to the point that I'm shaking frantically inside, knees knocking, heart racing, and my stomach is doing flip flops while trying to regurgitate a mouthful of colors! But it won't come out. My brain is filled with a catalogue of different hues of blues, reds, purples and oranges that interchanges constantly with the pinks, yellows and greens. But the only thing that makes its way out are the whites, blacks...

March 9, 2016

30 Seconds of FAITH is pushing through the fear in order to grab a hold of GRACE.

Imagine, being at the gym and its leg day! For me, it’s not a day that I love, but it’s a day that I am thankful with gratitude for. 

 

3 years ago, I could barely walk up or down stairs without being in extreme pain. Surgery looked so promising in the near future. The only thing that stopped me from going through with it was, I didn't have health insurance. Who knew that would be a blessing in disguise.

 

When I took my hands off the wheel and put them on top of the Lords, I found my personal trainer. He started working on my legs. I was hesitant because I didn't want to cause more damage, but I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was, so I let my trainer do his job and no...

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